Hello Fans,
There are plenty of ball games and action to tune in to, or out of, depending on your perception of early ‘Spring’ baseball. I know I have caught several portions of broadcasts and read many headlines to results of Spring Training and World Baseball Classic games. With that, I couldn’t help but think of my most and least favorite descriptions to capture a contest’s prevailing status and themes. Some announcers really get excited about the action at the right time, and accurately so, while others overuse and wear out go-to phrases in addition to exaggeration. That’s not good. The same can be said for print and Internet headlines as far as overuse and magnification or reduction of said actions. Then, you are left thinking to yourself, “They really didn’t put much into that recap, they just wanted me to click ahead.” Doh!! Here’s some jargon that is misused, overused, or a favorite. Feel free to decide for yourself though.
MISUSED: When a starting pitcher rolls for at least seven innings, doesn’t allow more than 2 earned runs and racks up perhaps 6+ K’s, we can safely say he has earned the description of having ‘solved Sluggers-R-Us’s lineup’. Don’t say he ‘solved’ the lineup and let me see five innings in the box score or that he walked 4 guys. Come on! If you ‘solve’ a lineup, you figured out, and accomplished, how to keep them off all the bases for a large part of the game. It’s a great phrase that needs to be used wisely, not carelessly, when it’s time to describe an ordinary victory. Of course, a one inning save is unworthy. A relief appearance needs to be special, perhaps a minimum of three scoreless innings should be required.
For an all-time great relief ‘solution’, we can visit the work of Pedro Martinez in Game 5 of the ’99 ALDS vs. Cleveland Indians at the ‘Jake’ by the Lake. The BoSox won 12-8 after Pedro threw 6 shutout innings with NO hits, 8 K’s, and 3 BB’s in relief of Bret Saberhagen and Derek Lowe and against future teammate Manny Ramirez and company. You know you have solved a lineup when they go from scoring 8 runs through the third inning and produce exactly ZERO more runs. Props to the Boston bats to tie it up at 8 in the top of the fourth to warrant ‘spending’ Pedro to take over the game. And, no wonder too, that Jimy Williams was the ’99 A.L. Manager of the Year with a move like that.
O.K., let’s reel it back it in now, alrighty? As we know, any homer can be considered a bomb during debates or a slugger’s reply to teammates about what he’s going to do today. However, let’s not hear the phrase ‘bomb‘ on t.v. or radio for your average ‘excuse-me-but-did-I-just-reach-out-and-let-the-wind-carry-that-outside-breaking-pitch-over-the-fence’ homer that barely clears the wall or worse, hits the ‘homer stripe’, on a wall and doesn’t clear anything at all. That’s not a bomb. An actual bomb must clear the fence by at least 10 feet down the lines, or be in the upper deck, or clear the center wall. We’re talkin’ light tower power here folks. The word should be used to describe a rarity, not the ordinary. More simply, to be a BOMB, the ball has to go FAR.
While we’re on the subject of homers, we need to define power. A player has power, or pop, in his bat if he somewhat frequently hits a home run or doubles in the gaps. If it’s late August or the first week of September, the home team’s network announcer doesn’t have enough time in two games worth of air time to convince me that their eight-hole hitter has some power when his batting line consists of 9 or 10 HRs. Those homers are definitely valuable to any team, but that’s not power as we think of it, and power probably isn’t that guy’s game. If he hit any fewer, he may not even be in the Bigs unless his leather is above average, and I’m sure his checks get cashed based on contact and trying to hit line drives the other way. POWER means you can take one deep at anytime. Let’ go with your 18+ HR guys and above, based on a full season and 500 at-bats. Otherwise, brush up on what the guy actually does best.
OVERUSED: Two or three times a year, it’s cute if an announcer uses the term frame when cutting to commercial after the side is retired. I don’t want to hear that 17 times a game though. Heck, I don’t even want to hear ‘side is retired’ that many times, and that phrase should be used regularly. Frames are for bowling only. And bowling is a game, baseball is a sport. Use the term when the 10th inning ends or the game goes to the 12th. That’s a nice time for the word play. ‘End of the first frame’ just doesn’t work. Besides, the catchers are the only ones putting up a frame out there. At least they better be!
And after the first inning, the home team pitcher starts the second when he goes back out to the mound, not the bump. Bumps are what we call the mounds on bad or makeshift fields. Bumps are what entertainment reporting shows use to describe a celebrity’s pregnancy. It doesn’t belong in baseball. Any use should be considered overuse. If mound doesn’t work for you as an announcer, we do have the traditional and more appropriate term, hill. Please use it!
Athletic: An adjective used to describe 1. someone physically active or strong. 2. of or befitting athletics. Unless you wrote a book and call hitting .300 and playing first base for the Phillies, a la John Kruk, not being athletic, all professional players are athletic. DUH! We don’t need commentators saying someone is athletic because he dove head first into second to stretch a double by swiping his hand in at the last second. That’s called hustle. That’s knowing how to play the game hard. That’s playing the game the right way. They are all supremely athletic out there. Hitting is the single hardest thing to do in any sport. No question. Use the term sparingly. Granted, you have to sort out the big leaguers among themselves too. However, the play needs to be exceptional. Just like you wouldn’t describe a shortstop’s athleticism on a routine grounder, that slide described above is routine too–it’s just on offense that’s all. If a guy goes first to home on a double with less than 2 outs, tell me about his speed and if you want to throw out athleticism, OK fine. Tell me about a guy’s athleticism when he robs a homer at the top of the wall. Or when he steps on the tarp to snag a foul fly from reaching the stands or dives with his back to the plate to snare a would-be bloop hit. Otherwise, I know they’re athletic. That’s why I watch. Please, be more descriptive.
FAVORITE: Some of these terms may not be used too much on your national broadcasts per say, but maybe they should. Frozen pizza. I LOVE that term. How else can you describe better a hitter who has been completely fooled and just struck out looking while ALSO comparing him to a grocery item? You can’t. That’s why it’s great. It may be somewhat immature, but it’s so fun to say that it’s irresistible. It should be used at least once a week.
And if the pitcher is overpowering out there, we have to have that special code for a quick strikeout. Three pitches in fact. Strike one, a.k.a. Good Morning. Strike two, a.k.a. Good Afternoon. Strike three, a.k.a. Good Night! What a classic. It’s fun to say and just as fun to hear. Enough said.
Well, some days, those sluggers and slap hitters are on the same page. You get the table setters getting pitchers out of their comfy windups and into their less effective stretches and POW! There goes a three-run double, followed by a homer. And there’s only one out. Maybe none. Then folks, it’s time to say it as it is. There’s a fight at the bat rack fans!! Everybody’s looking to pad the stats and hoping the other manager doesn’t pull the guy. I’m no fan of softball scores, but you have to be ready to call one when necessary, and this line is a big help. And when the hitters are ‘fighting’, you better have a line or two to draw up the pitcher’s day. How about ‘give ’em a bag, he’s throwin’ up’ OR ‘I know your arm is tired, but I’m worried about your neck’ (from the whiplash of hard hits).
There’s plenty of sayings out there. Some are professional and some are taken out of the dugouts. They’re all good. However, their appropriate usage can make the game a whole lot more fun.
Later Fans.